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Rooster Juice
P: Oh, roosters became slang for "cock" for a reason. They're just like "I'mma hump this." P: "awww yeah." Mari: ahahahah Tai: ffffff Mari: I'mma hump this. Mari: Awww yeah. Mari: P ilu Clo: tell the rooster juice story Mari: .... Mari: ..................... Mari: ................................................... Maddin: giggidy giggidy Shei: do we want to hear this Clo: yes Mari: rooster juice Maddin: yes Mari: tell me it's the name of like Mari: an actual drink P: okay. Okay, it is time for the Rooster Juice story. Clo: I fucking love the RJ story Maddin: story time! P: Okay, Rooster Juice story. Mari: ROOSTER JUICE Tai: STORY TIME Doc: /is interested Mari: STORY TIEM WITH P Tai: /sits on Mari and listens Mari: 83 <3 Shei: /curls up by mari and big siiiis Clo: chat goes quiet in anticipation Mari: /cuddles Tai and Shei P: So when I was younger I lived in the fucking sticks. Like, I mean, I lived in the middle of Goddamn nowhere. And there was this farm down the highway that I would often bike to, because the people that lived there paid me like a dollar to do things like open the sheep gate or collect the chicken eggs. P: So one day the rooster is out of the cage and he is walking. He is walking and he is inspecting his territory. P: ... what the fuck is this. P: what the FUCK is this. P: It is a GIANT FUCKOFF ROOSTER in HIS territory. P: You probably would recognize this rooster if you saw it. It is a red VW bug. P: So this rooster is not backing down. He has his HENS in that coop and he means to fuck every single one of this. This intruder will never sex up his ladies. P: So he puffs himself up and crows. He fans out his feathers. He pecks the ground. He scratches the ground and shows his spurrs. P: This is the biggest rival rooster he's ever seen. He gets so outraged that over the course of an hour this exhausted, enraged bird P: goes up and pecks the tyres. P: So the farmer goes and honks the horn and the rooster FREAKS OUT and shits itself. But not to be defeated, t comes out and challenges this rival to a fight. P: the car does not respond, because it is a fucking car. P: So over the course of the afternoon the rooster gets closer and closer, and eventually... P: he mounts the car. P: He mounts and FUCKS the car. Froggy: ...HOW DOES A ROOSTER EVEN DO THAT Tai: ...h-how Maddin: /popcorn Mari: /popcorn Doc: wat P: Crowing and screaming his triumph. He climbs on the back hood of the VW bug and humps away, he grinds, he scratches and moans and squeals. It was really pornographic. Mari: fjkdsl;ajfksa;j P: This goes on until the farmer honks the horn again. The rooster P: PECKS this defeated male. P: Re-establishes his dominance with another good, hard fuck. P: And then, exhausted, goes back to his ladies. Tai: So the rooster is Chase Stein. Clo: JKGHKASDGHA P: ... and that is the rooster juice story. Mari: FJKDSLAFJDSKALFJASCLO Maddin: lol Mari: wait that was...Tai Doc: ....THE END Mari: wh-whfkdsl;ajfa Mari: *DIES* Mari: Meth: *LAWL* Clo: that is my favourite fucking story Tai: /could not help herself sorry Doc: i saw a red vw bug in town a few weeks ago. i thought it was hella tight too. Mari: I will never look at red vw bugs the same Mari: EVER AGAIN Tai: ....Doc, y-your wording Maddin: was it a new bug or an old bug? P: Old. Doc: what about it Shei: gdlkgjdfg /dead Mari: ...hella tight Clo: /laughing at Doc's wording Tai: "I thought it was hella tight too." Mari: Doc is now a rooster. Clo: it's like you tested that theory out Doc: yeah what about it 8D Shei: oh my god i love this chat Mari: You are not doc Mari: you are Rooster. Maddin: kabuster Mari: that is your failboat name Doc: i have been here Tai: ROOSTER Doc: like four hours Mari: ROOSTER. Tai: DOC ROOSTER Tai: DOC COCK Mari: no just Rooster. Mari: oh god Doc: 8U Clo: DOC COCK Clo: THERE WE HAVE IT Mari: oh god P: So yeah, this rooster experienced the best lay of his life. He defeated in bloody combat, a rooster a hundred times larger than him, and he got laid and then he sexed up all his ladies. It was the best day ever, the end. Category:Crack